Monday, October 23, 2006
some logical updates..

oh well, life still has to go on huh? anyway, went for movies on sat nite with my poly frens. 8 of us altog, watched The Prestige. is magic truly magic? or does it involve sacrifices? please watch. ha. but i think the recent movies are pretty interesting. World Trade Centre and The Guardian. i think i liked The Guardian better. from training the young ones to seeing them in action, and sacrifice. id better not say too much, save it for those who wants to watch. anyway, i loved it.
i'm going to visit the dentist later. i don't know why but i'm quite afraid this time. maybe i know i'll have the aching feeling. BUT it better not! i will punch the dentist! i hate the aching feeling. URGH!

went to my aunt's place yest. ate so much. the curry was nice, not spicy, my fav duck wings never fail to tempt me. n durian cake~! ya. please envy me. haha. anyway, it was fun playing with my cousins. kids r just the most adorable pple on earth! heh.

alritey! guess i'll blog more bout my dental experience, if it's one.

Thursday, October 19, 2006
the not-so-smooth-sailing times

what's this new security thing all about? someone update me leh. ha.

oh man! i really really hate the times when i can't even talk sense to myself. when i can't even console myself. i need someone to talk to me. talk sense into me. sigh. some pple think that i can talk myself through.. that it's just some 'reflection' times. it's not. i know it myself.

why is it that it just takes some pple to say one sentence n just once, n pple LISTEN. they know. they do something about it. but it does not apply to myself? maybe i'm really not good in talking. i can't seem to get words through. perhaps i'm not expressive when it comes to talking. is it something within my control? i think otherwise. perhaps it's just that i'm really not understanding enough. i don't know. silence is not always golden. n it's not the key to build any strong relationships. honesty, being frank, n always being 'crystal clear' is the key. when one's down, the other party comes along, n help the other one up. shouldn' that be the right way?

sometimes, after you've realised that you've said too many times of something. it doesn't only becomes nagging to that person. but it's also a nag to yourself. what's worse is that it's not only a nag to yourself, you start to question. doubts. why can't i be an effective talker? i become desperately, anxiously doubtful of myself, of my capability in talking. i've always thought that just by being frank is really important. but some may not see things the same way as i do. i no longer get pissed with all these. i feel lousy. i feel that i've lost. i feel that i'm the one not good enough. but i really really think that it takes two hands to clap. that's a fact, isn't it?

since i can't be expressive in talking, i guess the only thing i can do is to pen down my thoughts. since i can't let it out by talking, isn't this the better alternative?
how many times do i have to lose b4 i start having the right one? i want this to be the LAST.

when everything seems to fail, to fail me, i take it as a challenge.
mental strain is such torture.

Sunday, October 15, 2006
some thoughts

has it ever occurred to you that you're very selfish?? it has. i'm feeling this way now. it's terrible. were you once angry.. not at anyone else but yourself? my answer is yes. i feel so digusted of myself. why can't i be a better person? sigh. i'll try. or rather, i'm trying.
but then again, sometimes it's really hard to guess what someone else is thinking. i wonder why pple can't be frank with their other half. is that something so tough? you might have tried your very best to make that sum1 feel good. but, one may fall when he/she still build a wall in between. this definitely doesn't feel good. sigh! but just continue trying! you nv noe when you'll succeed.
sometimes, i just wish that he noes how i feel. when i feel good, n when i feel really bad. sigh. but guess no one's perfect, ya?

i think i desperately need to 'revamp' myself. not physically, but mentally.

anyway, i'm very happy with this new blogskin. my archives r back, comments back. but my tagboard can't be put in!! damn.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
missing things..

omg!! if anyone ever realised that something's missing from my blog, it's my archives?? where has it gone? what great things have i done again? omg.. *wails* n my comments.. someone, help!

anyway, i had an important interview yest (keeping fingers crossed). hopefully, everything will fall back in place.

so much has happened since last week. feels as though 1 month has passed or something. oh.. i bought a new cam! love this cam so much, compared to the previous cams i had. lol. bought it during the comex fair. when was that? ok.. i realised that i changed topics really fast. guess i've got too many things to blog. so i'm just being random.

ok. the biggest change so far is that i cut my hair!! on sat. i say it's CUT n not trim, cos a lot of hair is gone. i had unhealthy ends, so chop chop! heh. wf said that i had the look of my poly days. hmm.

ok, i should be doing work now. shall blog more soon! eh.. sum1 help me regarding my archives thinggie k? thanks. =)